Military Wit & Wisdom

Military Wit & Wisdom:
 
  In submarines the number of dives should not exceed the number of
  surfacings.
 
  "A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
 you least
  expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of
 your
  unit."
  Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
 
  "Aim towards the Enemy."
  Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher
 
  "When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend."
  U.S. Marine Corps
 
  "Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are
  guaranteed to always hit the ground."
  USAF
 
  "If the enemy is in range, so are you."
  Infantry Journal
 
  "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you
 just
  bombed."
  U.S. Air Force Manual
 
  "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never
  encountered automatic weapons."
  General MacArthur
 
  "Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo."
  Infantry Journal
 
  "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me
  U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
 
  "Tracers work both ways."
  U.S. Army Ordnance
 
  "Five second fuses only last three seconds."
  Infantry Journal
 
  "Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last , and don't ever
  volunteer to do anything."
  U.S. Navy Swabbie
 
  "Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid."
  David Hackworth
 
  "If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush."
  Infantry Journal
 
  "No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection."
  Joe Gay
 
  "Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
 
  "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do."
  Unknown Marine Recruit
 
  "Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you."
  Your Buddies
 
  "If you see a bomb technician running, follow him."
  USAF AmmoTroop
 
  "Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.
 For I am
  at 80,000 F eet and Climbing."
  At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
 
  "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3."
  Paul F.Crickmore (test pilot)
 
  "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
  Blue water Navy truism:
 
  "There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky."
  From an old carrier sailor
 
  "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's
 probably a
  helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
 
  "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have
 enough
  power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
 
  "Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying
  club."
 
  "What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and
 pilots? If a
  pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, .... The
 pilot dies."
 
  "Never trade luck for skill."
 
  The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in
 aviation are:
  "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"
 
  "Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
 
  "Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to
 successfully
  complete the flight."
 
  "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up
 there!"
 
  "Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag
 for the
  purpose of storing dead batteries."
 
  "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight
 to a
  person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing
 anything about
  it."
 
  "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just
 barely
  kill you."
  Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
 
  "A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his
 plane to its
  maximum."
  Jon McBride, astronaut
 
  "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into
 the
  crash as possible."
  Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
 
  "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
 
  "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
 
  Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
  "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
 
  Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not
 go near
  the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the
 appearance
  of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is
 much more
  difficult to fly there."
 
  "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full
  power to taxi to the terminal."
 
  As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft,
 having torn
  off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck
 arrives,the
  rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?". The
 pilot's
  reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
  Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
  Military Wit & Wisdom: