From the mouths of babes

    KIDS WRITE ABOUT THE SEA


This is a picture of an octopus.   It has eight testicles.
--- Kelly, age 6


Oysters' balls are called pearls.
--- James, age 6


If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island.
If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.
--- Wayne, age 7


Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like
Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more.
--- Kylie, age 6


A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of
its head.
--- Billy, age 8


My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes
back with crabs.
--- Millie, age 6


When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds
to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't
blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.
My brother said they would have been better off
eating beans.
--- William, age 7


I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny
tails.  And how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?
Like, really?
--- Helen, age 6


I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is
always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting
at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I
can't think what to write.
--- Amy, age 6


Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting.  Electric
eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves
under the sea where I think they have to plug
themselves into chargers.
--- Christopher, age 7


When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and
it makes my willy small.
--- Kevin, age 6


Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.
Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go
down on each other.
--- Becky, age 8


On holidays my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when
she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again
because water fired right up her fat ass.
--- Julie, age 7